Finding the right words

On their lovely website, the scholarly sorts at the Oxford English Dictionary have a list of words and phrases which they seek the help of the world at large to date first usage.

Apparently, before 1986 no one used the term
chat-up (a.: designating or relating to flirtatious conversation)

So what did we do back then if we saw a likely sort swigging a pint of Hoffmeister? Did we simply "talk to them" or perhaps just club them over the head and take them home under our arm? And if the chatting up didn't work, we didn't stop at the kebab van to drown our sorrows in meat fat before 1990 apparently.

But somewhat more worrying is the fact that no one did a poo (as in the verb and very much without the H on the end) before 1975. And then, between 1975 and 1981, no one called their poo, well, erm, poo.

If you know any different, let the boffins know.

First day of school

The New Year should bring new hope and a refreshed vigour for the year to come. I hope it brings you, kindly reader, all that you could ever wish for



It has bought me so far - though in no particular order - a packed in radiator, a leak in the kitchen, a viral infection that has made my glands go crazy bananas and a dusting of snow.

The Arse Clench Redemption

So I turn on the telly this morning, and who should I see but Mr Motivator sitting on the sofa with Lorraine Kelly. I quickly checked my watch to see if I had passed through some time hole into the early 90s. But no, there he was, real as anything and still wearing the same colourful leotard.

Apparently the obesity crisis has reached such levels that the only person who can help us is Mr Motivator. I imagine some poor researcher from GMTV had the job of going around all the petrol stations in London, trying to find the one he worked at and then begging him to come back and save the nation while he switched on pumps and sold Jaffa Cakes.

Whatever can we expect next? Lizzie Webb from TVam working with obese children?

So anyway, there was Mr Motivator, offering to solve the obesity crisis and making Lorraine Kelly do arse clenches, despite her arse being beyond clench redemption