Who would win in a fight between an emo and a goth?

Emo vs Goth has got to be the world’s lamest deathmatch. It would be like watching paint dry. Alien vs Predator it is not. While it is one of the immutable laws of nature that in any fight involving a goth the goth will lose, in this case I predict a gothic victory. This is because the goth only has to stand around looking sad and wait for the emo to self harm.

Interestingly, when writing this, spell-check kept trying to make the Goth fight an emu. That is an easy victory for the emu!

Shops I like - part I

Anyone for aertex shorts?

The Loan of Contention

Ok, ok, I know it's a pretty weak pun of a headline, but this week I have finally reconciled my account with the contentious grant replacing Student Loan people. And only 12 years after first utilising that funding for important student books and equipment like pints of Snakey B and patchouli oil. I actually feel like I own my BA outright and in full now, and I intend to use it more often in polite company.

It also means for the first time in my adult life (if you ignore my mortgage - Cheltenham & Gloucester please can you do the same, please, please?) I am officially loan free. I owe you nothing, uuh eer, nothing at all.

So it's good timing that the boiler should stop doing the boiling bit its name suggests, now I am flush with all this extra cash. Let's hope they don't mind being paid off in small installments over a decade.

The Oxo Tower. Neither an Oxo nor a tower

I went to the restaurant at the top of the Oxo Tower last night for the first time ever. And very nice it was too. Aside from getting hideously drunk and having to be poured into a taxi and flushed home, I noted a few things.

1) The Oxo Tower is not a tower. An eight storey building just isn’t a tower. My house is 4 storeys and you don’t hear me calling it the Dulwich High Rise.

2) I had it mixed up with the post office tower. Which is an actual tower and is also much larger. Most importantly it is round. Having spent the last 30 years thinking that this was the Oxo tower, you can excuse my other misconception, that the restaurant revolved. Which is just as well because revolving restaurants are in the same design group as guitar shaped beds. I can also imagine it is very difficult to find your table again when you come back from the bog unless the bogs also revolve. I can’t see this being the case because the only way that would work, what with the plumbing and all, is if there was only one bog, right in the middle of the restaurant. So you would essentially be sitting on spinning toilet, and the toilet is not a place where you want to introduce centrifugal force.

Other than that it was very nice.

From Vegetarians to Leather Trousers in One Seamless Move

Hi Children,

Recently, a vegetarian came into my life. Who I like rather a lot. I have to say that, because I am about to pan vegetarianism.

I used to be a veggie. Oh yes I did. I managed 10 years of vegetarianism. And during that time I was generally under the impression that what you put in your mouth was your own darn business and I was happy making lentil hot pot.

Now however, I just wish someone had fed me a bleeding steak and shown me what I was missing.

I believe vegetarianism may well come into its own several years in the future, when society has broken down and we are all stalking the desolate landscape stripped to the waist and wearing our post apocalyptic leather trousers* we will be able to hunt them on account of their being easy to catch and, let's face it, corn fed. But for now I think they are people who don't eat proper food. Vegetarianism is the domain of 15 year old girls. If you don't like that, go and blog about it to your emo mates on myspace.
Double standards? Yes. I can get my standards into double figures if I really try.

*Just watch any movie set in the future (Bladerunner, Mad Max etc) and you will note that everyone is wearing leather trousers. It appears that when society breaks down, technology becomes obsolete, particularly the technology required to make trousers out of cloth.

Oh dear what can the matter be?

I've been feeling under the weather for several weeks now, and I know that as I type, Shiv is hurling several pints of Pepto Bismol into the bog.

Why am I so ill? A number of theories have abounded. My mum thinks it is ME. But she thinks everything is ME and I'm simply not self pitying enough to have such a disease. Another friend suggested anaemia, but when I extracted some with a sharp stick, my blood was vivid with haemoglobin. Each molecule bound tightly to four irons. The last theory is that I'm depressed. I'm not having that one because last time it lead to me not being able to get income insurance. However it is probably the most likely. It would certainly explain all the crying.

The thing is does it count as depression when your life actually does suck? That shouldn't have any affect on your ability to qualify for insurance. Justifiable misery, that's what I have. I think the suggested remedy is to pull yourself together and stop whining.

However it isn't just me. Everyone I know is ill at the moment. The people who aren't ill are pregnant (and that's just the men!). Which is worse than being ill cause you can't eat brie and then a 9lb person forces its way through your cervix. Which just has to suck.

Biscuits for Girls goes Radio

Hello

Although Biscuits for Girls have only been running for a short time and we never update our blog, we have our first ever radio credit. So why not listen to it here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00j7vlf/Watsons_WindUp_Series_3_Episode_7/

(27mins and 15 seconds in)

In other exciting news, our very first photo story will be appearing here very shortly.

Keep dunking,
S&C