Hello biscuit lovers. I read today that a Rangers footballer injured himself this week, inspecting an egg he had just poached in the microwave. He had to call his parents to take him to the hospital to tend to his scalded cheek. I hope his parents told him to stop using the microwave for eggs, poaching really deserves vinegary water on the hob.
The story ended with the news that the accident data on egg related incidents stopped in 2002. At first I thought that the government had just given up on the type of no hopers who dislocate a thumb popping a scotch egg in their mouths. But some research showed that the government has just stopped collecting data on accidents at home, full stop. I guess they just don't care about us anymore.
I can, however, tell you that back in 2002, 226 people were injured in incidents involving artificial limbs.
1,189 people got in an injury pickle with a coat hanger.
And I can reveal that 82 poor souls suffered a superficial injury to an unknown body part. ("sort of ouch"..."where does it hurt?"..."I don't know")
How many of these poor, slightly injured in an unspecified area types are walking slightly wounded and uncared for today?
Sort it out government towers. Get that moat cleaning money back and get back in the accident data collecting saddle.
But be careful, or you could come a cropper like 656 others did with saddles in 2002.
Play nicely folks.
